


Five Arrangements: A Love Stories

by capncosmo



Category: Yamada Tarou Monogatari | The Story of Yamada Taro (TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-19
Updated: 2008-06-19
Packaged: 2017-10-18 02:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capncosmo/pseuds/capncosmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takuya is lost when it comes to his two most important people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Arrangements: A Love Stories

**Author's Note:**

> _kadou_ = flower arranging _seiza_ = formal sitting position Thank you to lillianloop @ LJ for reading this in advance! I have a lot to say about the structure of the story, but I don't think you care; feel free to ask me if you do.

Takuya was six when arranged flowers on his own for the first time. He had done it with his grandfather before, listening to him explain why he chose each flower specifically and how they came together to create the finished arrangement. He talked about the history of the art, the history of the school and their family, the philosophy behind it all, and Takuya soaked it all in. He had caught his grandfather's enthusiasm and respect for _kadou_.

When he showed it to his grandfather, he was actually a little proud, despite the sloppiness he knew characterized the piece. And when Grandfather put a hand on his shoulder and said, "There's plenty of time for you yet, Takuya," he was so relieved Grandfather thought he had potential that he didn't even notice the frown that had appeared on the older man's face.

*****

The exact moment was difficult to identify, although Takuya knows it had to have happened, because Yamada Tarou was definitely the most important person in his life now when he certainly hadn't been before. They'd gone to school together for two years in which Yamada was just another person that Takuya couldn't care less about, and yet in just a fraction of that, he'd suddenly gone to occupying nearly all of Takuya's time and attention, even when he wasn't around.

Having never had many friends, Takuya was fairly often worried he was going to mess thing up, so he tried to be as helpful as possible, not that Yamada was ever stingy with his friendship in the first place. He liked just being around Yamada, and he wasn't willing to take any chances.

*****

Takuya was ten and had just finished the school's general program. He knew the techniques now, and although he'd continue with a private teacher, he still felt he had accomplished something, even if it was only a small step. His teacher had complemented him, saying how happy she was to have someone so intelligent in her class, and he had tried to put everything he learned into his final project.

When his grandfather came to view the graduation arrangements, he didn't even stop to look at Takuya's, despite the great care with which he was viewing the others. Takuya thought maybe he was just saving it for last and waited for Grandfather to go back, but he never did.

*****

It isn't as earth shaking as Takuya thought it would be in theory, to realize he might be in love. In fact, it's almost anti-climactic when several things come together to suggest he may want to reexamine the nature of his feelings for Yamada. There's just a moment of "oh," before he goes back to his studying.

Later on, when he actually thinks about it, he discovers it's difficult to analyze feelings you can't really understand and ends up without any conclusions at all. His inability to figure anything out annoys him, and the question "what do you want from Yamada?" stays constantly in the back of his mind, the feeling demanding classification but unwilling to fit into any category Takuya knew of.

*****

Takuya was twleve, just about to graduate elementary school, when Isogai came in with a line of worry between his eyes. He said Grandfather wanted to see him, and to bring a recent arrangement he had confidence in. It was an odd request, and Takuya was nervous as he choose the simple one he had finished yesterday afternoon and followed Isogai across the house.

When he went in, he bowed, and Isogai sat the arrangement on the table between them. The setting sun filtered through the plum blossoms, yellowing the white petals. "The flowers are in pain," Grandfather said, and Takuya was dismissed as suddenly as he'd been called.

*****

How much of it is disposition and how much of it is circumstance, Takuya doesn't know, but he does know that he is different. He feels it in the way the other students all have groups of friends, the way they want to join clubs and work together, and most acutely in the way they all care so much about love and dating and sex. Takuya has been fine on his own, has preferred being on his own, and tries not to think too much about it.

He had assumed one day he'd get married, probably to someone Grandfather introduced him to, and they'd have a strong partnership and raise children. He didn't think it'd be perfect all the time, but he had adopted the ideal of a family as a dream of his own. Takuya had assumed he'd come to be like everyone else someday, but for the first time he thinks he might be wrong.

*****

Takuya was fifteen, and he hadn't tried to show his grandfather any flowers over the past three years, despite the urging of Isogai and his teachers. He was arranging for himself, because he loved it, because _kadou_ was the most important thing in his life. Even if he never gained his grandfather's approval, he didn't think he'd ever stop arranging.

When he was carrying an empty vase down the hallway and passed his grandfather, he didn't look down or away, just kept the neutral expression on his face. He felt like it was the first time Grandfather had looked at him in forever.

*****

Only once does Takuya find himself crazy enough to try and talk about it with Yamada. It's just the two of them on a rare day Yamada isn't rushing to a job or time sale, and somehow the conversation turns to the future. Yamada is going to be an agricultural scientist, and he's going to take care of his siblings even after they're old enough to take care of themselves, all the way down to Mutsumi and Nanami.

The urge to blurt everything out, make Yamada promise to stay with him forever too, is overpowering, and he almost does it. Takuya is almost certain Yamada would laugh and say, "What are you talking about, of course I will," like Takuya was some kind of idiot, but he isn't certain enough. Yamada can see he wants to say something, looks puzzled and says, "Mimura-kun?" in the way he always does to prompt his friend to speak, but Takuya lets his fears win. He thinks he'd rather be gradually left behind later than abandoned now, and it's the first thing he's decided about his feelings for Yamada at all.

*****

Takuya was seventeen, sitting _seiza_ and watching his grandfather's face very carefully. He was no longer laughing, but instead looked serious, and when he asked to see the arrangement Takuya had tried to show him a few days ago, Takuya felt a warmth that had been so long absent he'd forgotten he was cold.

When Isogai brought it in, his grandfather's reaction was almost immediate. "The flowers are laughing," Grandfather said, surprised. Then he studied Takuya, trying to confirm an answer without asking the question.

"Yamada makes me happy," Takuya said. It was really all he needed to know.


End file.
